Puppies and Crocodiles

Ava: Mom theres crocodiles in your closet.
Me: There r?
Ava: Yes. But the crocodiles r retend (pretend).
(Ava comes out of my bedroom dragging two of my belts)
Me: Ava put those belts back in my closet.
Ava: They're not belts they're my puppies.
Me: K put the puppies back in my closet.
Ava: But the puppies are scared of the crocodiles.
Me: But u said the crocodiles are pretend.
Ava: No they're real.

A new mommy

Me: Ava you have a good daddy. Do you like him or should we trade him in for a new one?
Ava: New one.
Me: Why do you want a new one?
Ava: No lets keep him and get a new mommy.
Me: You want a new mommy?
Ava: Uh-huh
Me: Why do you want a new mommy? Tell me what I should do to be a better mommy.
Ava (emphatically): Clean up this house!!!!!!!!

I'll admit it, my housekeeping has suffered with the addition of a new baby but its gotta be pretty bad if my toddler, the queen of messes, has noticed.